Kyuubi Brat
by Darka Silvath
Summary: Naruto finally realised the truth as a child for why the villagers call him 'Kyuubi Brat'. Total Crack Fic.


"So that's it then…."

Naruto stared down at his hands completely stupefied. Thinking back to the cruel words that had been hurled at him, by the mob of just moments ago.

- _FLASH BACK –_

"_DIE DEMON!" "BEGONE BEAST!" "RETURN TO HELL __**MONSTER**__!" _

_Naruto looked on as the ring of people surrounding him, hurled insults and various objects at him. It was when a random kunai pieced his shoulder and the scream of:_

"_**KYUUBI BRAT!**__" _

_reached his ears that he finally understood. _

_With that he turned and dropped to all fours, before darting like a wild animal in-between the legs of those present in the hateful crowd._

"The reason they hate me…." He paused and then let out a sigh. "I am the Kyuubi's son."

Disclaimer: I do not own **Naruto**. I am making absolutely no profit out of these works. This idea was Drackner's but he's given me permission to continue it so HAH! I'm going to try and run with it hope you all enjoy it. Inspired by the many rules and delightful scenes in the fic: **Chunin Exam Day **by **Perfect Lionheart**.

Note: Naruto isn't really Kyuubi's son but she doesn't have to tell him that.

Total Crack Fic!

Chapter 1

"The 4th Hokage must have used a seal to bind me to a human body; my father must have come to rescue me. Then been attacked by the village, who didn't want to relinquish their new _weapon_."

"Your father where did you get that idea brat?"

Deflating Naruto sighed, he should've known it was too good to be true. There was no way he anyone could really ever love him, he might as well kill himself and be done with it. Anything to escape the pain of constant hatred, loneliness and rejection from his surroundings.

Meanwhile the Fox was desperately trying to come-up with an escape plan she hadn't realized that her host would take her confession this badly, she didn't want the brat to kill itself. Beside she wasn't sure that the seal would release her upon his death, after all human seals tended to destroy the item within upon being broken. Frantically she tried to come up with some way of stopping him, no that could never work she thought… but… then again… humans were pretty dumb most of the time….

"I'm your mother."

Naruto looked up and froze, she tried to smile haphazardly to make her self less frightening. All her efforts did was make her sharp chakra enhanced teeth show more clearly though to her dismay.

"mom?" Naruto asked cautiously.

Deciding she had nothing left to lose Kyuubi went in for the kill, it was so lucky that Demons didn't really have a sexuality, being able to change forms at will was really useful, as she shifted into a more human guise she was amazed to find out her great-grandfather had been right, human bodies really were like meat sacks she was finding it a lot more easy to compress her power and from this height the cage bars looked a lot larger and easier to escape through.

"Yes _dear_." The word sounded odd to her lips and yet he did look surprisingly – dare she say it – cute, well maybe the human body was fucking up her emotions by generating all these bloody hormones. The whisker marks made him look adorable, with that sun-kissed blonde hair just made her want to stroke it for hours and… hey wait was something calling her?

"MUM!" A very irate young Naruto was looking expectantly at her.

Oops maybe she had been a little too long thinking about him. "Yes dear." Subtle. Yep subtly solves all problems – hey wait a minute. I've never thought that before.

0-0-0-

"But I thought you were male?"

"Why on Gaia would you think that?"

"Well all the drawings depict you as the Demon Fox, Kyuubi attacked Konoha, and well I thought Demons were all male?

"Look I'm female, obviously, because have you ever seen a giant cock hanging between my legs in the drawings of me attacking the village kit?"

"Why would having a chicken standing between your legs be proof that you're a girl?"

"…"

"What?" Naruto looked on in bewilderment.

"Never mind. I'll tell you when your older." Praying that she would never have to give the brat "the _talk_" maybe she could have him track her great – grandfather and… oh wait that was what caused her to turn into a Demon in the first place, bloody priests using her as a vessel to imprison him. She'd gone from Kyuubi no Kitsune 9th great Spirit Lord to Kyuubi no Yoko 9 tailed Demon, and self proclaimed lord. So for now she just settled in the cage and stroked her 'Son'.

-0-0-0-

"Naruto why do you keep wincing like that and shivering for no reason." Iruka asked cautiously near the end of one class on ninja history, it was a particularly boring subject and Iruka's voice droning on didn't help matters – hence why 99% of his class were asleep.

"Mom's on her period right now and she's PMS-ing." Naruto winced after volunteering this somewhat-sensitive information.

Iruka winced, he and many of his colleagues had spent most of their last few years desperately trying to explain to Naruto that he was not the Kyuubi's son, some had told him that he was the Kyuubi in which he had just replied:

"Look just cause I invented the Sexy Jutsu doesn't mean I'm a girl, though I do prefer that form cause' my penis doesn't get in the way when I'm fighting and if I dispel the breasts as well it makes fighting so much safer, easier _and_ more comfortable!"

Iruka the most sensible one among the rest had long ago given up trying to correct his students' mindset on the subject.

-0-0-0-

Team 7 meeting.

Right, thought Kakashi. So to summarize my team I've got a compulsive Demon container who believes himself to be the son of said Demon. A Brooding Uchia – though for Uchia's that's not _that_ unusual, more of a clan trait than anything else, who wants to kill his brother, because said brother murdered his clan then told him too. And a fangirl with a the most obsolete camouflaging skills in existence, next to Uzumaki's jumpsuit and…

Why are they all staring at me like that?

Oh… I was thinking out loud?

.. "Oops."

"Sensei What do you mean Naruto's a Demon container? I thought all that stuff about him being Kyuubi's son was just him messing around…"

"Hah! Told you Sakura even Sensei admits that she's my mom, my mom's the most powerful being in the world and by default that makes ME the 2nd most powerful! SUCK ON THAT SAUSKE!"

"Oh dear god. This team is doomed."

-0-0-0-

End of Prt1.

-0-0-0-

**Query: **Should we continue?


End file.
